Several studies conclude that praising intelligence and talent damages motivation and performance in the long run. Psychologist Carol Dweck clarifies that, of course, praising these aspects stimulates but only momentarily, since as soon as we face a difficulty, our confidence and motivation may decline. She points out that if success is perceived as being skillful, then failure is perceived as a sign of incompetence.
This psychologist suggests praising achievement through practice, effort, and persistence. Some of the messages may be: “The last training session was long. I admire the way you concentrated until the end”. “You put a lot of effort into improving your slalom technique”. “I noticed the passion you showed going down the new run, how did you feel at the end?”. These examples do not praise personality traits (smart, talented) but are geared to give encouragement by enhancing the will, courage, or perseverance demonstrated.
When parents tell their children that, for example, they went down fast or did not make mistakes, they are expressing that they value speed and perfection. While most parents, instructors, and coaches use this type of praise, these performance characteristics, according to Dweck, are the opposite of learning. She suggests instead telling them that the exercise or the run was easy, and then set them a goal or task that they can actually learn from.
If we receive praise just for who we are we generally perceive our failures as proof of our incompetence. Therefore, we will avoid contexts in which our self-image is threatened. This way of receiving praise may lead us to learned helplessness, i.e., we may consider our failures to be caused by our lack of ability; therefore, we have a high probability of giving up.
The messages of praise that are issued and what we perceive may be the following:
- “How quickly you’ve learned that maneuver, you are very skilled”. What we may perceive is: “If I don’t learn something fast I’m not skilled”.
- “How good your turns/runs/jumps are: you are a champion! What we may perceive is: “I shouldn’t go down a difficult slope because they will realize I’m not a champion.
- “You are so talented that you won the race with almost no effort”. What we may perceive is: “It’s better to stop trying hard because they will think I’m not talented”.
In conclusion, in the messages that are sent to reinforce self-esteem in the face of challenges, a large part of them are aimed at protection from failure. While it may be helpful in the immediate aftermath of disappointment, it can be harmful in the long run. When someone praise what we ‘are’ (“You are very skilled”) after a good behavior or achievement, that person is praising what we have achieved because of a personal characteristic; but if that person praises effort, it will teach us to value what we ourselves have achieved, cultivating intrinsic motivation.
In the long run, external reinforcement is less effective, but intrinsic motivation helps in the practice of sustained effort. Therefore, it would be advisable to avoid judging what one ‘is’ and praise what one ‘does’ with effort, will, and perseverance.
The interpretation of praise in the face of failure
We mentioned that praise directed toward what we ‘are’ (smart, talented) can harm our attitude toward failures during learning, training or during competition performance. This is because we tend to assume that we are smart or skilled only if we achieve certain results. This belief also affects our reactions to mistakes because we may perceive them as proof of our lack of ability.
Then, as we realize that both the results achieved and the failures reflect what we ‘are’, we may avoid those skiing situations that deteriorate our self-esteem or, directly, we will give up the challenges that we perceive as difficult. Then, it should be noted that several authors recommend praising what the person has achieved through his or her efforts and perseverance.
