It was Freud who coined the term narcissism by resorting to a character from mythology called Narcissus, characterized by an excessive love of self.
As a stimulus, despite the negative connotations, narcissism is indispensable for the development of the functions of our psyche. Today it is accepted the importance of narcissistic valuation in the progress of a person in any activity he undertakes and many of the choices made in life are due to narcissistic needs in pursuit of personal satisfaction.
Under the psychoanalytic conception, in the narcissist skier there is a demanding Superself which he is unable to satisfy and, whatever he does, it is never enough. He is prone to compare himself not with the skier he really is but with the image he has of himself and, due to the severity of his Superself, he possesses high ideals of what he should be, considering himself displeased if he does not fulfill them.
The difference between normal and pathological narcissism lies in the intensity. The former is useful both for oneself and for others; on the other hand, in pathological narcissism, the skier tries to take advantage of others in order to achieve his own goals. Excess narcissism becomes a disorder (narcissistic personality disorder), but there are also skiers with a deficit of narcissism.
Among the generalities of narcissistic tendency are:
- The anguish of absence of separation, which occurs when an object is lost or distanced from someone (partner, instructor) and is replaced by another because, for the narcissist skier, people are objects that sustain his narcissism.
- Primary narcissistic disorder appears in childhood when parents turn their children into grandiose, arrogant beings, and with a contemptuous treatment towards others because they believe they are superior young skiers.
- Secondary narcissistic disorder appears in those who have grieved from a narcissistic deficit in childhood in which they experienced suffering or shame and, as adults, exhibit compensatory narcissism. Such is the case of the ‘nouveau riche’ skier who does not seek healthy self-esteem as compensation, but suffers from an exaggerated need for superiority.
- Narcissistic imbalance occurs in the skier who possesses normal aspirations and ideals, but does not perceive himself capable of achieving them due to low self-esteem or self-worth. This behavior comes from demanding parents and teachers who do not value or criticize the child’s achievements. If he performs well and does not receive the corresponding approval will not value it and, if it happens recurrently, will stop performing them. On the other hand, when good performances are praised, we can say that we are ‘narcissizing‘, that is, we are giving value to what has been accomplished, which favors self-esteem.
- Narcissistic dissociation occurs when the same skier presents grandiosity but also a feeling of insecurity at not being able to give that image of grandiosity. Boredom is a discomfort that appears when the narcissist skier feels impotent in a situation and must tolerate it. It occurs due to the lack of control or mastery in what he is doing, so does not get to satisfy the needed feeling of worth. Some use other skiers to achieve narcissistic well-being. For example, in narcissistic possession, the narcissistic skier uses the relationship with someone to feel valuable by feeling that person’s value as one’s own. In this case it is not a matter of an own valuation but a borrowed one. An example of this psychic mechanism is observed when parents exhibit their narcissistic possession through the achievements or social valuation of their skier son/daughter. Another modality of using others is the object of narcissistic activity, which consists in using the others to develop an activity that enhances one’s own narcissism. In reality, what interests him is not the others but to carry out an activity that makes him feel valuable and important.
There are two other ways in which the narcissist skier uses others and this is by depositing his dissatisfactions and devaluations through projective identification by which he disqualifies and denigrates others; and omnipotent control, which refers to the need to want to dominate not only the behavior but also the mind of others by imposing one’s own beliefs and thus be able to validate oneself.
The skier with a narcissistic tendency considers that aesthetics, i.e., looking good while skiing, is very important and that this is not only to exercise the body but also to enhance his Ego, so prioritizes aesthetic skiing over functional skiing. In reality, the ideal would be not to be concerned with aesthetics but to achieve an aesthetically functional skiing. Although he feels confident and competent, he tends not to recognize his own mistakes. Because he is afraid of reflecting an image of weakness in front of others, he exaggerates achievements and hides weaknesses.
Characteristics of a skier with narcissistic tendencies:
- Is in love with his own skiing.
- The need to be admired is so great that he is always trying to get closer to his ideal skier-self.
- Looks for the best instructor to show off, but gets irritated if he doesn’t come to the forefront himself.
- Is in constant appraisal of all his actions and whether others value them.
- Expresses phrases such as “I have the best instructor on this mountain” or “I am equipped at the best ski shop”, which denotes idealization of external figures and objects with which he needs to identify himself.
- Needs to have another skier who thinks the same way he does. He tries to ally himself with the ski instructor or ski coach, whom he considers an asset because he is someone special, and thus imposes his opinion and belittles others.
- Some do not hesitate to risk their own physical integrity to satisfy their intense narcissistic needs, such could be the case of extreme skiers.
- Demonstrates patterns of grandiosity in both imagination and behavior.
- Needs the admiration of other skiers.
- Exaggerates his skiing abilities and accomplishments.
- Expects to be recognized as superior in everything he undertakes.
- Believes he is a special and unique skier who can only relate to other skiers of the same status.
- Pretends to receive special treatment.
- Takes advantage of others to achieve his own goals.
- Demonstrates arrogant and haughty behaviors.
- As a defense mechanism devalues others and demonstrates an aggressive attitude towards them. Although some do not exhibit aggression, they expect unconditional admiration from others.
- Narcissistic gratification may also occur in ski instructors and ski coaches who value their own performance so highly that they enjoy it more than the accomplishments of their learners or athletes.
Coping strategies for the narcissistic personality may include:
- Having a lot of tolerance for his ideas of grandiosity since it is an important need for him.
- Avoid questioning him directly as it may provoke narcissistic rage and abandon the activity or social group.
- Instead of pointing out his deficient skiing behaviors and attitudes, which would be unproductive because it would increase his defensiveness, make him feel that one understands his inner need to act this way.
